In an attempt at balancing two of the central tenets of my personality - spiky sarcasm and woo-woo introspection - it felt natural to briefly explore some of the thoughts about music, creativity and culture that have occurred throughout the year and reoccured when I pondered it a little more closely.
NB. If you are getting this because you once were taught or had coaching from me then welcome back! I hope you enjoy this but feel free to skip it if you don’t fancy it. This is how this will be from now on.
Right. Back to the thoughts.
Individualism
It is evident that we need to consciously uncouple from the deeply damaging living concept of individualism. Like Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow's divorce.
We are consistently told that we need to do be able to do things on our own/without help otherwise it is/we are a failure, even more so in the music and creative industries. This is despite the clear evidence that our entire lives have been and will continue to be collaborative. It feel pithy to say that individualism is an agent of corporate capitalism but individualism is an agent of corporate capitalism. The idea that we're all struggling along alone makes us feel that we need something or things specifically. Enter your online shopping basket and the bit of tech you've been eyeing up whilst you're folded up on your couch in a semi-foetal position considering your body composition and wondering idly if Ozempic is the answer to your creative block and release strategy issues.
It is fucking not. Put the phone down, go for a walk and talk to somebody. Christ.
Interactions
Tying in nicely, making more effort to not be a grumpy gobshite for your own wellbeing as well as for others deffo needs to be higher on everybodys list.
Moving from Liverpool to live in London has offered an interesting insight into interactions and what they are. From a city that doesn't know what quiet time means to a city that appears to hate people and everything associated with human interaction, we really are not built the same. In Liverpool, you can't buy a bar of choccy without a conversation or commentary on the item you've just bought, where you got your top from and what you're doing with your day. You are lucky if you get eye contact in London.
The only time organic interaction appears to spring up in London is when there's a kick off, usually on the TfL network. Some sort of entitled or selfish behaviour ensues, someone else takes umbrage with it, the whole carriage picks their figher and then discusses it (verbally and non-verbally) for at least two stops before going on with life. Never have I met such a large group of individuals who are crying out for human interaction.
The crux of this is that London always wants something from you and its usually money (insert corporate capitalism here). So when your bubble of "stay the fuck away from me" is punctured, it is probably because a lad in a corporate-sponsored waterproof at Shoreditch High Street wants to chat to you about knife crime and how a tenner from you can solve that. I wished one of them a Merry Christmas a few weeks ago and the poor lad was floored at the pleasantry.
We could, however, just be a bit nicer. Less fuming. Tell your face at least…
Fuck social media
We need to break the individualism, we need to interact more and we need to do it in the real fucking world.
I've known for years that most of my engagement with social media had been neutral at best and fucking deplorable in the main, but like everyone else, I too sought to be distracted from my life. Like an overgrown toddler looking to be soothed into hyper stimulation through the grown-up equivalent of Coco Melon, I have scrolled since social media began. So I started to craw back my time/sanity slowly by only going on my socials consciously (more Paltrowisms) then deleted the apps off my phone meaning I had to use a browser. Eventually I got a cob on around the American election and deactivated my Facebook and Twitter accounts. I still haven't deactivated Instagram and TikTok but I haven't logged in or redownloaded either. They’re next for the chop.
I've missed out on things - I’ve missed “seeing” people - as well as social media specific occurrences that now need to be explained to me like an elderly relative, but honest to God, its worth it. I directly contact people that I actually want to speak to and spend time with. My brain, though naturally feverish, is a little calmer and spacious in terms of my thought patterns. There is just more...time. Reading, writing, playing. Instead of the overstimulated toddler, I’ve become the fuck-annoying bouji kid who only has wooden toys and has ever tasted Wotsits.
Authors note: Highly conscious that I am posting about not being on social media on a social media platform but Substack is different. M&S cheese puffs different. They don’t count.
Boundaries
This has been a big one for me in the work and family areas of my life.
Deciding to put your foot down is quite easy: you get yourself hype, bouncing round your room sending a fuming voice note to your mate about how you've had enough/not having it anymore/fed the fuck up of their shit etc etc then do exactly fuck all about it. My fella observed that when I'm raging about someone/something else, I explore the issue with him (read: rage, moan, cry), feel better then do nothing about it. I was a mild unintentional own by him but quite a helpful one for me personally. (Nice one love 💙).
Putting your foot down is harder. You have to actually state your case then withstand whatever comes back at you which is likely to be unpleasant, personal and unyielding.
Keeping your foot down, or holding your boundaries is the hardest. Firstly, those on the other side of these boundaries don’t expect you to hold them. Secondly, there will be many attempts to breach and fell those boundaries. Thirdly, we the boundary holders, miss the sameness of how it was before.
Maybe it needs to be different than it was before.
If in doubt, seek guidance from a higher power:
Disruption
Last one and the most important (which means there's another newsletter headed your way on the subject. I know: you're cheddared).
It isn't too much of a stretch to say we're all fed up with the world around us and how we are expected to function within it. Instead of aiming to change these worlds we exist in (industry, work, family, politics etc) we can instead disrupt. Disruption doesn't need to be depositing a pile of manure outside parliament a la French farmers nor does it need to destroy someone’s day or life, but it can be sticking to the responsibilities of your job role and no more or asking your manager about the sexual harassment policy whilst he's swinging two tangerines in your face as an imitation of his ballbag (true story from a few years back) or simply remembering that “no” is a complete sentence.
Disrupt. Deliciously.
Well this has been lovely. More in 2025 I think.
Happy New Year!
Oh my god this is so good!!!! Just saved it so I can come back and read it properly later x